Monday, February 6, 2012

Driving Googled Americans Up the Wall-E


I really liked the movie Wall-E. Watching Wall-E’s confusion in the beginning of the film was reminiscent of Short Circuit’s confusion ending up in Oregon. Except Oregon was nothing like the pollution Wall-E was left to rummage around. And unbury treasures that were popular in the time of short circuits. Like plugs. And outlets.

Maybe it’s just me but I don’t feel like the movie got much attention. 

Was it for lack of dialogue?
Pshh, I’m pretty sure that “the Artist” is up for like eleven nominations. 

Was it because it went over the heads of children-the intended audience?
I’m pretty sure I was into Short Circuit and I had no idea what the cold war was or the song “who’s Johnny” which debuted in my birth year. 
And I’m not so sure it was entirely intended for children.

Was it because Americans are in denial about their sustainable practices and weight problems?
Because the movie certainly used a cute little, expressive robot to showcase how far the American physiques have changed since the days of short circuits. 

With those robotic chairs, we can have our pie and eat it too!

Americans are the best at everything. We win Olympic gold medals and we win at robotic chairs. It is called being an American. 

If you type “why are Americans” into Google, the first predicted text to pop up is “why are Americans so fat.” It doesn’t say why are American fat. It says, why are Americans SO fat. 

I’m doing far more sitting at this job than past jobs. I’m also dealing with more weight management issues at this job than previous jobs.
Maybe I should start writing for Google…

I wonder if Wall-E toys were used in Happy Meals. Maybe that’s why the movie didn’t get a lot of attention. Google stole the attention with all the questioning.  

Until we all short circuit and adapt into robots, we may continue to be googled by such complexly, simple questions such as “why are Americans so fat?” And it may take another 20 years for us to assess overweight and obesity in health severity instead of aesthetic scrutiny.  Oddly enough, scrutiny helps encourage healthy behavior. The way Americans scrutinize smokers, outlawed lighting up indoors and tax cigarettes has changed significantly since the days when ‘Who’s Johnny?’ played on the tape deck above the ashtray in the ‘ole paneled van.

When did Happy Meals start hurting?

I’m sure a day, not too terribly far from now, the happy meal toys (and food) will be so heavily taxed it may be a fattening delicacy like fois gras. Oh wait, that’s not American.

 The New Happy Meal