Whatever Will Be Will Be Good

I finally joined the current century. I upgraded my phone! I went from rebate to a white, 16gb 4s rectangular thing. It’s magical. It’s also necessary. A miniature computer makes living in a foreign territory quite un-foreign. 

I’m keeping up with the Silver Lakians. To do so, one must be in thrift store digs holding a rectangle. My email footer says “sent from Mcmurph PC” … now I’m the hypocritical joke.

I fit in. 

I fit in…but I’m still getting lost.

I left said rectangle at home while I went out for a run today. After all the eating and drinking in the hills I needed a bit of exercise. Running up and down hills is confusing. And hard. And I got lost. And when I walked into my apartment later than anticipated, I thought my roommate and her boyfriend were reaching for the defibulator upon seeing their faces see mine. I was as red as a pinpoint on the electronic map I left at home. If only I was holding that rectangle with that 4G GPS. 

After cleaning myself up, I started out on another “exploring my hood” adventure. This time with my friend and tour guide, Siri, in hand.

On this rectangle, an “app” is not food. But an app can tell you where to find food. Urbanspoon is an app. AroundMe is an app. They are both tasty but you can’t eat them. Almost as confusing as the curvy, hilly streets.

Ahh, how the modern hunting and gathering has cut out the work-or rather, the exercise.

So to see some of these red pinpoints on my map app, I set off to wander up and down Sunset Boulevard for 2 hours while talking to my dear friend Kory. Kory lives in Charleston, South Carolina.

Time zones are not on our side. We are kind of the same person occupying different coasts. 

Kory is at a university hospital doing outpatient dietetics. So am I.  Kory thinks too much. So do I. Kory is a bit sad right now…trying to figure it all out. I am sad for her. So I bought her a card. And I wrote in it.

1.22.Twenty12
Dear Kory,

You are a peach. A peach & a half, actually. I miss you often. Very often. And the moment in my life that you were a part of.

First off, happy 30^th! I wish getting older gave us more answers-or led us closer to “the answer.” Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it gives us the answer that there aren’t real answers at all. That everything is a journey. That we are all fluid. That when things are good and we meet amazing people we need to recognize it.  and them. and celebrate that moment- because it passes.

And it makes life better but harder too. Because we’re always trying to top that moment. Or hold onto it while we continue to grow. And then we compare everything to it. And try to get the best of every world we live. And our hearts just fill to the max! And it’s exhausting.

And silly!

We are humans and we can’t control hardly anything. (and we have big expectations!). And we can’t hold onto everything and expect to also move forward. If that were the case, I would have like ten boyfriends all the time! (psh, no I wouldn’t). And that would be terrible! Because I can’t hardly handle one!

You are like me-that’s why I like you. That’s probably why Rick finds me “ok” for a girl and a human and a stupid 25 year old with an older brother and an older sister. (Rick, you lost that bet).

We try to hold onto everything all the time. And do it well. And our hearts and minds just can’t hold onto everything and continue to grow, and go with the flow, and process. And even if we did hold it all together and stay in one place, the world would go changing things on us! It's a sneaky trick this world pulls on us!
Then we feel sad. Or guilty. Or reminiscent for things in our past. And then we need to remember that life is always changing and it’s a journey to nowhere at all. And you can’t compare apples to oranges. It has ups and downs and looking back always seems better in retrospect. The future is uncertain. The present is what it is. So we keep going.

And we are getting smarter and we do have more answers. But it’s just our own answers.
But even when we hit 30, or 25, or whatever, we have to remember that we’re doing the best we can and we need to put our pretty thoughts and heads to rest. And be. Good.
I love you!
Meg

As I wrote to dear Kory, my rectangle app played me a song. A version of Que Sera.

The future’s not our….

Life is going on as normally as ever…

There are a lot of things we don’t understand, either. We need answers from you: what did you expect to find? What’s going to be our future?..

…Que sera, sera.

I started to walk back up my street. To get to my new version of home at this time in my life. And I passed the Microbrew on the corner called Good. My rectangle tells me it’s 0.25 miles from home. It neglects to tell me that 0.25 miles uphill feels like 0.5 miles.

My rectangle helps close the gap from Charleston to Los Angeles. There is also an app that yelps that my house is by Good and it’s not just a clever name. And I should go to Good. So I will. And I am. 

And while I type, my rectangle app tells me that I’m searching for a heart of gold, and I’m getting old.

I’ve been to Hollywood…

...and I've seen it from my bedroom window.