Crazies with Straws

My sister is going to change from Patti Murphy (or as I call her P. Murph) to Patti MacMillan come October (I will rename her P. Mac). I went home this weekend and collected an assortment of names and address to contact regarding bridal showers and inappropriate pre-wedding parties for brides to be.

My mom is in serious “clean out the house and prepare for bridal showers/wedding guests” mode. Her famous words as of late are “I’m going to tackle the…(fill in any closet, crawl space, window well you can think of).” I didn’t know that my mom was going to offer the wedding visitors the window wells as a place to rest their heads after the shindig.. 

So when I was home, mama murph “tackled” the upstairs, front hall closet. That is truly the name the Murphy’s give said closet. 

Ie: “mom! Where are you?” “I’m putting towels away in the front hall closet!” “How are you putting towels in the front hall closet? It’s so packed. It hasn’t been cleaned out since you built the house in ’84?!?”

Fascinating stuff. I know. 

Anyways, while mama murph was “tackling” this poor, helpless closet she discovered several buried treasures. One such one being her own wedding veil. Due to the nature of the event she decided to put it on. I found her looking like this. Crazy:

She asked my opinion on several closet treasures that were being set aside for Goodwill depending on my emotional attachments. She did not ask me how crazy she looked in her wedding veil. 

Two bed sheets given to me by my grandma ended up in the “ask Meg about these before giving to charity piles.” They instantly triggered thoughts of illness. Growing up, when I got sick I had the “fun” bed sheets laid out on the family room couch and got to drink soda out of a crazy straw- somehow making sickness more enjoyable.

But now looking at the sheets brought back not-so-enjoyable memories. I opted out on keeping the colorful sheets patterned with Raggedy Anne and Kittens playing with yarn balls. 

Just how these bed sheets were saved for “special?” occasions, crazy straws were also rare finds unless feeling sick. Once, when feeling well, I stumbled upon a crazy straw and got so excited to use it as a healthy child. I put it in my drink and began to drink and drank throw up that had not been removed by the dishwasher due to the craziness of the straw’s design. Needless to say I never drank out of a crazy straw again, healthy or sick.

 

Once done with the closet, mama murph went down to prepare dinner looking like this:

 Crazy.

I hope her next venture is to clean out the kitchen drawers and cabinets to eliminate any crazy straws that may be lurking within. She can keep the crazy. Just not the straws. Because who knows, after the inappropriate pre-wedding festivities and wedding night shindigs, visitors may feel sick…and if they reach for a soda and a crazy straw to feel better, they may feel worse. And if you give a visitor a crazy straw you’re going to have to find an old towel to clean up more messes. And mama murph donated all of those to Goodwill.

Crazy.